Momma's Earbob

Momma's ear-bob has been sitting on my desk for a while now.  I like to pick it up and hold it and feel it.  It makes me feel close to Momma.  After I took the picture and posted it on Facebook I started trying to remember when I got it and brought it to the office.  It finally dawned on me - I found in the midst of the debris of Marlin's burned apartment.  I remember now - I picked up up out of the ashes of one of Marlin's boxes.  I showed it to Marlin and we wept.  I dropped it down into my pocket and then somehow I got it cleaned up and it ended up in my office on my desk.  So now, I pick it up from time to time - sometimes I press it against my cheek - cherishing the memories of my sweet Momma.  This week as we marked off the fifth month of her passing - I still can't wrap my mind and my heart around it all.  So I just hold the memories close and know that one of these days I will see her again.

On The Road Again - Can you guess?

Fort Lauderdale

Momma always made sure I got a hug from her before I left on any trip.  Sometimes she would cook for me the night before but if that didn't work out she would come by the house of the office for a hug. Short trips, long trips - she always wanted her hug.  It was a wonderful tradition we shared. I missed that hug this morning and I surely miss her now.

Daddy misses her hugs too - he says it is one of the hardest things - missing her hugs, her sweet touch - her simple presence in their house - in their world.  I miss her too Daddy.

Peace to all who stop by and read.

Momma loved to travel

In my adult years I was so blessed to be able to travel with my Mom & Dad from time to time.  One trip I have been remembering lately is our trip to Washington, DC in 2007.  We were going to the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship Assembly in DC to work with Samaritan Ministry (an HIV/AIDS ministry.  We decided to drive up to Washington by way of the Outer Banks of NC.  It was a wonderful trip and I have wonderful memories and a few photos.

Momma waving from the comfort of her car.

We spent the first night in Wilmington, NC, had breakfast with an old family friend and then made a bee line to catch the ferry to Ocracoke.  Below is a picture of my Momma enjoying the ferry ride from the backseat of her Maxima.  We spent one night on Ocracoke at The Pony Inn (I think).  As an adult I paid my own way so I got to have my own room at the hotels and I know that made the trip more enjoyable for us all....but we loved the time we spent.

Ocracoke Lighthouse

We took our time driving - stopping along the way - taking pictures, looking at the wild ponies, eating seafood - whatever we wanted to do.  It was so relaxing and wonderful.  We stopped by all the lighthouses too - I guess my favorite is the Hatteras Lighthouse with its wonderful history and the great story of how it was moved.

Cape Hatteras Lighthouse

I have such great memories from that trip.

I love you Momma and I miss you so much!

Bodie Island, Outer Banks, NC

Faithful loving wife - 63 years, 251 days

Wednesday, August 14, 1946 

...was my parents wedding day.  They got married on a Wednesday because that was the only day his parents, my grandparents (Mam-ma and Nan) could be there.  (They ran Hargrove's Grocery in West End and they were closed on Wednesdays - back in the day).

Mr. and Mrs. Billy M. Hargrove, August 14, 1946
(This picture is their entire wedding album.)

They got married at Haddock Baptist Church sometime late to mid afternoon - Dad can't remember exactly what time. (I wish I had talked to Momma more about that day - always thought we had plenty of time).  Momma got ready in the room upstairs over the choir loft.  Daddy says she was the most beautiful bride and his heart was filled with love as he saw her step out onto the landing and then down the staircase and into his life for the next 63 plus years. (Daddy's aunt Emmy(sp) said she was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen too.)

Tom was an 18 year old serving in Vietnam when they celebrated anniversary number 25.  Naturally, it fell to me, the eldest daughter to do something.  Our dear family friends, Jean Page and Mickey Starling came to my rescue and helped me plan a sweet little reception at our home on Fairmont Ave. in Greenville, South Carolina.

Jean Page, Mickey Starling & Me - all ready for anniversary 25.

And then came our celebration of their 50 years together.  We had a sweet little drop-in at their home.  I am sad that I can't remember the details of that day.  I know we must have had many drop by but the only thing I remember of that day is what you see in the picture below.

50th Anniversary Celebration, 1996

Tomorrow would have been their 64 wedding anniversary.  We, our family, will be gathering at the Red Lobster in Macon - to celebrate, to mourn, to carry each other through.

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Momma loved Red Lobster.  I have many fond memories of our family gatherings there.  I remember once when Mom & Dad were return from one of their many trips she called me, "Honey, we are going to stop in Macon on the way home and eat at Red Lobster, do you want to join us?"  I told her I would there as quick as I could.

We celebrated Momma's 80th birthday at the Red Lobster and had a wonderful time.

Momma's 80th birthday at Red Lobster, December 29, 2007

Momma's voice...

So here is how my work day would go.....

I almost always get to the office before anyone else and have my coffee and get right to work.  Dad would usually arrive around 8:30.  After I said good morning to my Daddy I would say, "is Momma up yet?" and if Momma was up I would call her right away.  Sometimes we talked for a long time, sometimes we did not feel much like talking or we were really busy.  But we always had time for an I love you.

I miss hearing Momma's voice.  Sometimes, when I know Daddy isn't home I'll call to get the answering machine just so I can hear her sweet voice, "You have reached the Hargrove residence...."

I sure do miss her.

Longing for Tybee - Longing for Momma

This is absolutely one of my favorite pictures of my sister and my Mom.  You can see and feel how much they love each other and me, the photographer.

Ann & Mom at Tybee, November, 2006

Tybee Island, 1956

I remember the night after Momma's surgery I had to call Ann with the bad news.  I could barely speak the words - cancer....no treatment....it won't be long.  Almost simultaneously we said to each other - "We have to get Momma to the beach again.  We will start working on that right away."  That night I had every confidence that we would get her to the beach one more time.  Somehow I found great comfort in believing that Mother would dip her toes in those salty waters one last time. (of course there was no time for the beach - there was hardly time to say goodbye).

Tybee Sunrise, 2006

Momma loved these sunrises.  Like me she didn't not love getting up early but we sure did love to see those glorious sunrises.  On those days at Tybee when no one was up but me, I would turn the coffee pot on, grab my cameras and head for the beach.  After I finished with my photography and my walk, I would drive down to the store and pick up a couple of newspapers.  Sometimes I would get back so early no one would be up, but it would not be long before Mother was up puttering around in the kitchen.

I miss my Momma but you already know that.  My sister tells me that writing will help my heart begin to heal. I hope that who ever reads this may find some comfort or inspiration or something.  Blessings to all you who are on this journey with me - and if you are reading then you are with me and I thank you.

Tybee Beach, Thanksgiving, 2006

Pelicans at Sunrise, Tybee, November, 2006

Tybee Sunset, Thanksgiving, 2002

From my heart to heaven - I love you Momma.

Marlin, Momma and "the cancer"

Marlin had his first chemo treatment on December 30,2008.  We laughed, we cried, we prayed and we came together in faith and in love to travel that journey together - as a family.  That day of his first chemo we set up a blog and we just called his illness - the cancer.  After some very rough times through chemo and its side effects; a variety of infections and surgery or two we got the good news.  On April 5th, 2009 got the news that Marlin's cancer was in remission.  Little did we know that just a year later we would hear the news that Momma had the cancer - only this time the journey would be short - so very short.

We learned of Momma's cancer on April 6, 2010 and she stepped into the Promised Land on April 22.  There was no time to start a blog - there was no time, no need for chemo - very simply, there was just no time at all.  We rallied family and friends and even strangers who would become friends - we brought Mother home - to die.

Ann & Cassie took care of Momma day and night - along with the caring hearts and hands of Hospice.  Words are not adequate to express the depth of my gratitude for all that Ann & Cassie did - tending to mother's every need - anticipating,  reading her every expression, hearing every little noise and doing everything they could for Momma.  Momma was surrounded by family and friends.  She got to hear the noises and feel the energies of all the activities that had come to symbolize her life.  Cooking in the kitchen, setting out plates and cups and napkins, picking over the food before it was ready to serve - the hustle and bustle of all who gathered together because of a common bond.  The bond of the woman who had loved and cared for us all - the woman who was a mother to so many.

The day before she died on of her grandsons, Phillip, sat with her quietly for several hours.  He simply held her hand - a simple but powerful gesture of his abiding love....a love that represented what we were all feeling.  He got up to leave a couple of times but he kept coming back to her - to feel her touch, to share his love - to share our love.

Each child, each grandchild, every friend - passed through our lives in those four days - touching us with love and care - many feeling their devastation at the impending loss of this beloved woman.  I miss her so much as I know many do.  May we all find comfort in the arms of God and in the memories of my Momma.

Momma's chair

Samaritan Ministry Booth - CBF, Memphis

Jones County High School, Class of '44

Candle light vigil - Sam's Voice/In Our Best Interest

Cape Hatteras Light

Two of her favorite children - Marlin & Ann

Oh what a love!

Missing Momma

There has been so much going on in my life the past few weeks.  Last night when I sat down to relax and reflect I suddenly thought - I need to talk to my Momma.  It is still hard to believe she is gone.  I love this picture of my Momma and my dear friend Jacque.  I was speaking about my photography at my show and they were both so proud.  I have been so blessed to have had such a wonderful, loving Momma and such a faithful friend in Jacque.

Momma

I love this picture of my sister Ann and I will my Momma.

Me & Momma somewhere in DC - long ago.

What a great sport Momma was - playing in the snow in Greenville, SC.

Momma - Tybee Island, Georgia

I took this video riding across this incredible bridge (I was not driving). It is the Sunshine Skyway Bridge over Tampa Bay.